Step by step instructions for surviving a shower with an electric shower head.....makes me smile

If you ever heard your mother yell "Get back in that shower!!!   You can't possibly be clean yet!!", I'm about to tell you to forget about it.   Erase it from your mind.   Vanish.   Gone.   Your mother probably never took a shower with an electric shower head to be known from this point on as a suicide shower head.  There is a right way and a wrong way.   I've been doing this for a couple of months and I feel I am now an expert.

The wrong way

It is essential to get the pressure right.   Too little pressure and it's cold.   Too much pressure and you can see in the illustration it's just wrong.   The water goes out from time to time in Vilcabamba.  A lot of the time, ironically, it is because there has been too much rain and the pipes break.   Water, water everywhere but not a drop to bathe.   I know that's not the original lyrics but it is apropos here.   I'm lucky enough where I'm living now that I have a big, blue reserve tank but when the water through the pipes is off, water pressure in the tank is so low, it will not heat in the suicide shower head.   When you really REALLY need a shower, it's akin to giving a snickers bar to a chocoholic in a locked clear glass case that is unbreakable.  Watching that water dribble from the shower head, checking every 3 minutes hoping something gets warm is a tantalizing tease.

Big blue tank.   High hopes.   Low expectations.

A friend of mine once told me a story about THEIR suicide shower head incident.   Two family members tried to take a shower at the same time in different showers.  Unfortunately, suicide shower heads are not wired to accommodate the use of more than more than one shower since they use lamp cord for wiring.  Maybe that's why smoke started pouring from the outside meter boxes.

Suicide shower head

I may or may not be the only one who needed a shower.  Now I have to catch him.

He smelled as bad as he looked.

The time of my life........makes me smile

"I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth"

One year. And what a year! One year ago today, I came home. My new home.

I have met so many people, seen so many things, and done so much. I've met people in Japan, China and Alaska that have become friends on Facebook and met Facebook friends in New York and Ecuador who have become actual friends.

When I first came to Ecuador to live, I had my beautiful daughter in tow to help me with 6 rubbermaid tubs, 2 checked bags, 2 backpacks, 2 carry ons, and 2 dog crates with accompanying 8 pound dogs. I left the partridge in the pear tree back in Texas. We had some uncomfortable attention when we landed from the airport policia but somehow made it through customs in one piece.

After getting settled in Vilcabamba, my daughter, Robbin, and I traveled the highlands and saw waterfalls, Incan ruins and had a crazy ride through the rain in a dune buggy in Banos. We also went on a gravity defying horseback ride through the mountains which was the scariest thing I've ever done. That includes skydiving, signing a mortgage and moving to a foreign country.

I've lost weight from getting a lot more exercise and adopting a much healthier diet. I've learned a bit of Spanish and can now understand about half of what I see in a newspaper here but that was true in Texas as well so that may not be a fair comparison.

At the time that I made the decision to change my life I had no idea where I'd be in a year. Sometimes we get so mired down in a toxic lifestyle, we have no clue that things can be better. We work too many hours at a job we hate or have long since become burned out. I once knew an attorney I worked with who was so tired of his life and told me one day that his fondest dream was to quit, move to the coast and open a bait and tackle shop. I've lost touch with him but I truly hope he had the courage to accomplish his dream.

My life is much simpler now. I don't have as many shopping choices as I did a couple of years ago but I'm healthier and have a lot more friends than I did when I was battling a 12 to 14 hour workday, traveling as much as 3 hours in traffic a day. I don't miss that life at all.

I spent the day of my one year anniversary strolling the Malecon of Salinas with Leigh, her husband Neville and son Kyle who will be moving from Texas shortly. Salinas is often called "Little Miami". Last night, we had an amazing meal at Gabriella's, an Italian eatery which would compare to anything I had in Italy 13 years ago.

One piece of advice I have for you in the event you decide to visit a third world country for vacation or to explore a change of residency is to carry toilet paper with you at all times. There is a story circling around these parts of a woman who dared to enter a stall without. She has not been seen since 2009.

Fixing it Ecuador style..............makes me smile

They have a little different attitude to repair jobs.  Basically it is called "it'll do".   I can't say I've never done this before in my own life my own children and relatives can attest.   However, I'm not here to speak of my own shortcomings because that's just not funny.   Well, maybe to other people.  /smile/

Most appliances in Ecuador are run by the LP gas tanks.   They have a fitting on top with a gasket which seals and controls the outlet of gas in the air.   On occasion, those gaskets get loose and need to be replaced.   Before that happens, they get "fixed".

Rock on top.  FIXED!!

If it does not interfere with activity, it may not ever get fixed.

Ummmmm.....

It's hard to see but there are shards of glass up there on top of the wall.   Fired the security staff?   Never had one?

Security staff quit or got fired?  FIXED!!

I came from a part of the country where windstorms can get violent through the plains of Texas.   If a hurricane traversed its way from the coast and tore off your roof, you put a plastic tarp over it until the insurance inspected and it got fixed properly.   Not in Ecuador.

Between the weight and the rock, that roof is not going anywhere.  FIXED!!

Another security issue is breaking the lock on the door.   Or maybe there never was a lock on the door.  It is as simple as getting a padlock.   No bothering with expensive locksmiths.

No one is getting in this door.   Padlock.   FIXED!!

I do love living here.   It's 6:30 in the morning and I'm looking out my window at a white cloud snaking its way through the Andes Mountains.  It's the morning after an all night downpour.  Actually the day after an all day downpour.  Even if I were blind and deaf I would know that just from the smell.  Simplicity is not overrated.

Christmas in Ecuador .................... makes me smile

This is my first Christmas in Ecuador.   I made a poor decision to go to Loja, town of 150,000 people just north of Vilcabamba by 40 kilometers, on Friday before the holiday on Sunday.   It is just as bad as in the states.  People, people, people were everywhere.   And I swear before I try and hail another taxi in Loja, I will wear a turtleneck, dark sunglasses and 5 inch heels.   It's worth it just to get a ride.  Oh, to be 25 years old again.  

I didn't quite get the reindeer on the left but check out the moose on the right!

It turns out Christmas shopping isn't much different than in the states.   Many toys to be had, many people to walk around.

There were a lot of vendors like this using baby carriages to sell gift wrap and bags

There was just as much "rushing home with their treasures" as I remember in the states.   I didn't notice anyone fighting anyone over any electronics, though.   Maybe because there is not a Wal-Mart here?

Nativity scene in a store window.

There were nativity scenes, snow men and Christmas trees.   It is a bit of a disconnect to hear "Let it Snow" and to see snowmen in a place on earth where a lot of people have never seen snow in their life.   There is snow in Ecuador but it is on the highest peaks of the country and a lot of them are actively volcanic.

Snowmen depicted in a store window display.

There were pre-Christmas sales.   I was able to get a sweet deal on a washing machine since I am moving where I have no access.   Yes, I'm a spoiled American.   I can't stand the thought of sending out my dirty underwear and I don't want to wash jeans by hand. 

I can never convey the sense of a crowd.   I guess I need a fish-eye lens.

There were Santa costumes in a lot of clothing stores.   I am certain that Santa won't look this clean by the time he gets all the way from the North Pole (which I had the opportunity to visit in September) to the Southern Hemisphere.   I wouldn't want to be Mrs. Santa with that laundry.

Shop girls were dressed in Santa costumes.

 There were few of the "name brand" toys I was accustomed to seeing in the United States.   Anything and everything imported to Ecuador is subject to a 40% customs.   This may be why we have "Nicoles" instead of "Barbies" here.   She is just as pretty and has the same ridiculously impossible figure to attain as Barbie.

I didn't find a Barbie but there were some "knock-offs" called Nicole.

This was a really cute tree using cartoon fairies and, of course, corporately sponsored.

This was a "fairy" tree perhaps combining "When you wish upon a star"
with Christmas.

 Even though I am not a religious person, I still believe in angels:

A real life angel dressed in a Santa suit.

Feliz Navidad y un próspero Año Nuevo.

An ode to a bathroom.........makes me smile

I've had a lot of fun with the bathroom at my apartment in Vilcabamba.   If you recall, The walls go up about 7 feet and then the bougainvillea, which grows from the ground and through the floor, takes over for about 18 inches and then a plexiglass top above that.   I will be moving in less than two weeks and I'm getting a little misty eyed at the thought.

My beautiful bathroom.

I've grown quite fond of the little bathroom.  The experiences were crazy.  I've encountered a scorpion in the sink and had a bird strafe me from the ceiling.  I get a lot of needed exercise sweeping the leaves and washing the bird poo from the floor.  And did I ever mention the arachnoids who rapel in the shower at amazing speeds?  Again, a lot of exercise.  And that is as long as I don't knock myself out slamming myself against the walls to get out of the way.    No reading material needed.   I get plenty of entertainment watching red ants scouting out the next way to terrorize me.  Besides, a magazine would get soaked. 


Do I want this to end??

My new little buddy.  Until he went swimming.  In the toilet.   Forcefully.

WHY, YES!!!   YES, I DO!!!

I look FORWARD to not having to run through the rain in the middle of the night when nature calls and then having the insult on injury of finding rainsoaked toilet paper.

I look FORWARD to having a dry rug after a deluge.   Did I mention it is the rainy season here?

I HATE scorpions.   I'm not particularly fond of rapelling arachnoids, either.

I LOVE nature.   I HATE divebombing birds.   Especially when I'm naked.

Bird poo on my bathroom floor is absurd.

Looking straight up from the throne.

I am so happy I will have an overhang eave to shelter me to and from the new bathroom.  Oh, it is still Ecuadorian style since I will have to go outside to enter the bathroom, bedroom and the kitchen/living area but the chances of getting soaked in the process and having to change clothes in the middle of the night and dry my hair is slim.

Trees should be in yards.   Trees should be in parks.   Trees look very good on mountains. Trees can even grow in Brooklyn.   But I hope I never have a tree growing in my bathroom again.   That is the good news.   The bad news is my new bathroom has an electric showerhead.  Yes.  An electric showerhead.   It's always something.

Highlights of my trip ....... make me smile

Safest place

Most everywhere I went was safe. Going to the elevator of the subway in NYC at 3 am dragging 2 suitcases, wearing a backpack and carrying a purse? No problem. In Valdez, finding out few people lock their doors and noting a lot of people leave their cars running with keys in the ignition? Commonplace. Seeing a sleeping man with his packages in the train station in Osaka Japan? Even a policeman was gently moving his possessions so they wouldn't get stepped on while trying not to disturb
China can be dangerous for the trusting and naive. But don't worry. They only want your money. If you come here and buy multiple items from one store, do NOT trust their figures. Add everything up yourself. Even when they used calculators I found a lot of "errors" being made.

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Friendliest place

Valdez Alaska. No contest.

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Most beautiful place

Alaska followed by Japanese gardens in Nara and gardens around Temple of Heaven. Just my opinion since beauty is so subjective. Keystone Canyon was eye-melting The single engine flight over the glacier was unforgettable.
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Biggest fear

Nagoya train station. I arrived alone at rush hour and started looking for someone who could tell me where the silver clock was where I was to meet my kids. No one understood what I was asking. One lady thought she understood and showed me her watch.

When my kids found me, i was cowering at the wall. Nagoya station is bigger than even Tokyo station as it is centrally located and there are several large stations in Tokyo.

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Moment when I realized this was a soul searching trip as well as a pleasure vacation.

Meeting Carolyn in NYC it was special to meet someone I'd not met before but felt I knew through the Internet. How many more people would I get to know and care about before I headed back to south America?

I don't take friendships lightly as i had so few when i was working due to time constraints. Being virtual friends is one thing. Being real friends is so much more.

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Happiest moments

Seeing my daughter's face in Anchorage and my son and daughter-in- law's faces in Nagoya

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Biggest delight

The two Japanese children on the Shanghai Ferry

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Biggest annoyance

The two Japanese children on the Shanghai Ferry

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Biggest surprise

Finding out how western friendly and inexpensive Beijing and especially Shanghai were. My observations concluded that many westerners have made the same type of move to China that I made to Ecuador. I came close to skipping China because I thought it would be harder than Japan.

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Best food

Other than some amazing food cooked at home by my kids (pineapple soup!!!) that would be China.

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Worst food

China. I can go the rest of my life without seeing duck head, intestines and cooked chicken feet on my menu

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Most embarrassing moment

Realizing I had been sitting on my daughter's boyfriend's mother's glasses at the beauty shop when she couldn't find them

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Craziest moment

Too many

The moment when i realized the friendly couple in Beijing only wanted my money

The lady in Osaka who would not allow me to ride the subway because she thought I was making a mistake.

A night of drinking Jack Daniels straight up singing karaoke as the only English speaker amongst some Japanese and Chinese co-conspirators.

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Most boring moment (days)

This would be the days spent at immigration in Quito

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Most solemn and poignant moment

Telling my new German friend how horrible I feel being an American and viewing such horrific pictures of the aftermath of the bombing of Hiroshima
and her answer of "I'm German" We can only go forward from here All we can do with the past is learn from it. As my German friend said, it is counter-productive to feel shame for something that can't be changed.

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As much fun as I've had, I want to go home to Ecuador. I miss my dogs. I hope they remember me.

Nearly getting Shanghai'd in Beijing......made me smile

Let me make it perfectly clear that I do not believe these things happen to me because the "blog gods" want to give me something to write about. I believe I have a lethal combination of naivety and friendly nature that can get me in serious trouble. It nearly did today. I have no clue how I have managed to live as many years as I have.

I was watching the crowd at Tien'am Square today when I was approached by a male and female chinese couple. The woman did most of the talking and behaved in a very business like manner. The man was a bit tentative and shy and the lady said he was learning English and wanted to practice on a foreigner (me). After chatting for a few minutes, the lady wanted to know if I'd like to go get some coffee or tea as I seemed cold (I was). Why of course i did!!! New Chinese friends!!! (exactly my thoughts...)

As we headed off in the direction of the teahouse, the man engaged me in conversation. I thought it odd he wanted to talk about and actually knew about politics in America. He even knew about Rick Perry, the Tea Party and the religious right. When I said I was from Texas, he said "Southwest US, correct?" Maybe he's an avid news junkie, I thought. And very smart. I like smart men.

We arrived at the teahouse, even passing some enroute. Maybe they know the owner? I was delighted with the arrangement as it was a small room with the tea ceremony I had become familiar with in Xi'an and the visit to the teahouse yesterday with the tour.

The man and woman wanted me to sit between them and the girl employed at the establishment came in to pour the first cup for all. At that time there was very little from the man since the woman was doing all the talking. After about 40 minutes the girl came in with the bill and like a real idiot I said I'd pay for the tea since I had such a good time.

The bill was over 1000 yuan. That's about $175 in US dollars. I looked at the girl, then the woman and finally the man. I could see the slightest smile coming from the man. I finally told them I couldn't pay and I didn't know why the bill was so large. I had only had a few cups. I drank tea all afternoon at the Xi'an teahouse and they wouldn't allow me to pay anything. The woman said "You asked for a different kind of tea and she prepared an entire pot". By this time I knew that they use the same tea leaves 3 times so I knew there was a problem with that statement.

They told me if I didn't have the cash, I could always pay with a credit card. It started dawning on me that these people only wanted to be friends with my money. Not me. I pulled out 70 yuan (about $11 US) and held it out to the girl and told her that was all I had and I did not bring any credit cards with me (a lie). There were glances among the three of me as I stood up to leave. When they again insisted I had to pay the bill I started yelling and called them thieves at which time they backed off and I was out the door.

I didn't stop to turn around until I was at least two blocks away when I stopped and looked back to see if they were following. I was clear and had lived another day to do something else completely stupid. When I returned to my hotel and told the manager, he was horrified I even went with them and that I was lucky they didn't put anything in my tea.

Tonight I went to the Peking Opera. It was amazing and I enjoyed it even more than I expected because it was so funny. Afterwards, as I walked to the street to flag down a taxi, there was a hail of flim flam artists yelling "Rolex watches" "Designer purses!". After them came the rickshaws. I have learned that the rickshaws are good for short little rides but if you need serious transportation, it is best to get a taxi. Taxis are regulated and the rickshaws are not.

As I was leaning into the window of the taxi, not only was the taxi driver trying to wave my card off indicating he couldn't read it but a rickshaw driver I had waved off 3 times was tapping me on the shoulder once more trying to tell me I had a bad cab. I turned to the rickshaw guy and started yelling at him that I was going to call the police and jumped in the taxi and emphatically pointed to the bottom of the card where the address was clearly written in Chinese. He drove me to the hotel without a problem.

I have had an epiphany today. I am sorry if I disturb the sensibilities of my more religious friends and relatives of which I have many but the meek will not inherit the world. Old, crazy, bitchy, pissed off American women will.