Things about Ecuador that make you go "hmmmmm" - Una Parte.......make me smile.

Hog Roastings

On Saturdays in small villages as you drive through the Andes, it is quite common to see multiple Hogs hanging by the snout and head or to see one on a spit being turned and cooked.  The roasts are called hornado.  The word for pig or hog is chancho.   It is also a derogatory word and if it is aimed at you, best to be laying off the hornado.    There is apparently no health department in Ecuador that finds a food source next to the highway that is for sale to the public to be a problem.   I haven't heard of massive illnesses or deaths attributed to this practice either.   If I ever get the courage to try this, I'll probably have a side of diesel fumes and dust with my chancho.  

Cuy
Cuy is a delicacy in Ecuador.   It is a large guinea pig and is for special occasions.  My kids had pet guinea pigs growing up and, while it wasn't my favorite of the myriad caged animals they had, I really don't think I could bring myself to eat one without thinking of that little soft furry ball with the wiggly nose.  I have heard it is much like duck which I have tried.   Duck was not a good experience for me as it is a little sweet and greasy.   I'm not sure there are enough margaritas in this country to make me try something that is normally served head and all after being barbecued on a spit or deep fried.   Minus the cute wiggly little nose.

Baby Slinging
This is one of the sweetest practices.   I've seen it in small villages and in larger cities.   Mostly done by the indigenous, special blankets are carried over the mothers back with the baby in a sling.   Babies always seem to be quite happy in these positions and, with a simple change in the fold of the blanket, the baby can lie down in a cozy little nap or sit upright to peek over their mother's shoulder.  It really seems to be quite fun for them.

Sidewalk tripping.
On several occasions, I have come close to being "sidewalk kill" (as opposed to roadkill).  There are so many amazing things to stare at above street levels sometimes you forget to look down.   And looking down is very necessary with pieces of rebar sticking out, uneven cobblestone streets, inexplicable holes in the streets or sidewalks and just plain wear and tear.

 
Doctor's house calls.
My actual experience was a "hotel call".   A few weeks ago, on a visit to Cuenca, I became very ill on the second day there.   After four hours of what I think Montezuma's revenge may feel like, I peered out of my room to talk to the hotel clerk.   I told him of my illness and asked if he had a heating pad.   He was alarmed and said he had none of what I was requesting but he could call a doctor.   I was askance.  A doctor would come to me?   Is that even legal?  Nevertheless, a doctor showed up about 25 minutes later with a shot for nausea and the dear hotel clerk interpreted for the two of us.   Cost?  $30.   Medication came about an hour later for $20.   I was amazed and grateful.   I wasn't exactly up for photography during his visit so I'm including a picture of what I think of when I think of a caring physician.   At least he played one on TV.   And if you don't recognize him, you are definitely not a baby boomer.

Two equators.
This story started in the 1700s when the first geodesic expedition took place.   It was the goal of the French Geodesic Mission to find and mark the equator.   The equator passes through 14 countries but some of the countries were a bit uninviting and definitely a hassle to the French such as Uganda and Somalia.  In South America, they turned to a nice Spanish controlled territory, later to becme Ecuador where a nice colonial city, Quito, was already built nearby.  The King of Spain okayed their venture to find the equator with the caviat that they take along a couple of Spanish scientists to share in the glory.  Through a lot of measuring of the curvature of the earth and walking around and using some kind of voodoo math, they decided on the spot of the equator and called it Mitad del Mundo which means Middle of the World in Spanish.    There are a lot of signs on this spot for photo ops labelled 0'0'0'.   There is a big painted line on the ground to represent the equator complete with compass markings.   The only trouble is it is not actually on the equator.   The French guys were good, especially for their times, but they were actually 250 meters off.  

Located on the actual equator is the International Nan museum.  Besides sitting on the actual equator, the museum has hands on exhibits  regarding indigenous Ecuadorian life.   There are experiments to try such as walking the equator line with your eyes closed which will make you feel like you are falling.   Balancing an egg on a nail is easy since gravity is straight down.   I didn't actually get to do the actual equator because I was unaware of it at the time.   I will be there in September and the museum seems like a really cool, nerdy thing to do.   I'm wondering if straight down gravity affects my weight.  I'm afraid to find out.  My picture of the "fake" but well-visited equator spot is an unabashed brag and opportunity to show people how beautiful my daughter is.

Weapons..................make me smile

Okay, it's not what you think.   I admit I sorely regret not having had my picture taken with my .22 rifle I had to give to my daughter.   I never even shot it.   I only bought it because I outshot her once and that was quite a feat.   But I do remember the first game I ever bowled at 138.   I barely ever broke 100 again.   So it could have been just luck.

The weapons I want to talk about are natural weapons to tame nature that I've learned about just since living in Ecuador.  When my brother used to go away to scout camp, he carried everything under the sun with him.   He would always say he wasn't going to go join nature.   He was going to BEAT nature.   My role model.

Cinnamon.
A few people know I've had a occasional tussles with ants.   Cinnamon is an amazing ant deterrent.   Ever since I discovered this, ants have avoided my home like the plague.   I know it sounds a little crazy but try it some time.   Sprinkle some over an ant trail and watch them scatter.   If you have a sensitivity to killing living creatures, you'll be happy to know this does not kill them.   It simply makes them go away.   There are many more ways to use cinnamon as a weapon.   More than I can name here.  Cinnamon has been valued in traditional Chinese medicine for centuries including benefits of providing relief from colds or flue, especially when mixed in a tea with some fresh ginger.  It is useful for relieving sore throats, coughs, sneezing and mild headaches.

Bay leaves.
I haven't had too many problems with other bugs but it may be because I learned about this little trick early on.   Bay leaves are good to keep roaches and sugar ants at "bay".  I not only put them in my kitchen windows and in the corners of the counters, I put them in the infamous bathroom discreetly in the corners.  One other use is to make tea out of it.   Bay leaves have been used for 1000s of years in many societies to get rid of headaches.   It's simple.   It's clean.   It's natural.   Additionally, I would never make a pot of soup or stew without it.

Spiders.
My friend, Stephanie, is going to love this one.   Most living creatures have natural enemies and the enemy of your enemy is your friend.  There are some spiders that will trap a scorpion in its web, wrap it and feed it to its babies. This is a nonchemical solution and honestly, it only has four more appendages than we do.  Why are we so afraid??  If that is a bit too extreme, you can always mix equal amounts of boric acid and mothball flakes , lightly dust the area you have seen the pest.  Chickens eat scorpions, too, but I don't recommend keeping them in your house.


Dragonflies.
Did you know a grown dragonfly can eat as many as 50 mosquitoes in a day??  Incredible.   Again, the enemy of your enemy is your friend.  They are nature's mosquito repellent and if you don't have any in your area, you may have to settle with the decidedly less beautiful and less fascinating bug zapper for your next outdoor barbecue.


Raw Honey.
Did you know honey is the only food substance that will not spoil?  It is sweet and the perfect compliment for hot tea.   But did you know that if you take one part honey to two parts lukewarm water and add a teaspoon of cinnamon powder and make a paste to massage into itching insect bites very slowly, the pain will recede within a minute or two?   Did you know that in a recent research on arthritis conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week out of the 200 people so treated 73 patients were totally relieved of pain and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain?   There are so many health benefits with honey as a weapon and added to cinnamon, it is phenomenal.   Please don't tell the FDA.   


Turmeric.
OMG!!!  Not only is this a terrific seasoning spice, it is just amazing!!  And a natural gift in nature and I could go on and on about it.  It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent and is very useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.   It has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop growth of existing prostate cancer when combined with cauliflower.   It has actually been shown to prevent breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.  It possibly prevents melanoma and reduces the risk of childhood leukemia and studies are underway on its affect on pancreatic cancer.   It is a natural liver detoxifier.  It may prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.   It also is an anti-inflammatory for arthritic pain.   There are so many benefits for the use of turmeric.   These are just a few.   It's a fantastic weapon to use for our health.  It tastes good in soups.  Get it.  Use it.  It is even available in pill form in most health food stores.  This is something people need to know about.  As good as it is, it is important to note that it should not be used by people with gallstones or bile obstructions and a doctor should be consulted before a pregnant woman uses it since it can be a uterine stimulant.   Google is mi amigo or I would not know these things.


Dogs.
Dogs can be fantastic weapons for your health.   On a bad or lonely day, you can literally feel the love pouring out of them.   In fact, for nearly 25 years, research has shown that living with pets help lower blood pressure and lessen anxiety.   They boost our immunity.   They can even help you get dates.  I may have to have a talk with Bear and Amber on that last point.  They certainly have helped me make a lot of friends around town!!   Especially with the kids!!

Random thoughts after living in Ecuador six months ................make me smile

It will be six months on the 29th of July since I moved miles away from Texas.   I have reflected a great deal on my time here.   Much more good has happened than bad and the overall experience has been positive.   I want to share the progress on this post.

     1)  Never pick the prettiest fruits or vegetables just on the basis of its looks.  There is a reason it is that pretty and it seldom has anything to do with the taste.

     2)  When trying to decide on riding the bus for an hour and a half to the town 25 miles over or taking a taxi which only takes 30-45 minutes, check the tire tread on the taxi, if there is any.   If that passes muster, smell the taxi driver's breath.   If that is a go, memorize the phrase "Más lento que un hijo de puta.  Que nos van a matar."  There is a strong likelihood you will need it.

     3)  Google translate is your friend.


     4)  You can find beauty in the most amazing places.   I have a vase of cattails in my kitchen right now.   They were weeds.    All they needed were the right love and attention and they became gorgeous and brightened up the room.  It didn't matter what their origins.   People are a little like that.  That applies to number 1 as well.


     5)  If you have a bathroom that is exposed partially to the elements, always lift the toilet seat and check.   Under the rim, too.  You never know.


     6)  Repeat after me.   Bees are essential.   Bees are essential.   Bees are essential.   Bees are essential.


     7)  If someone is giving you unsolicited advice rather forcefully about your religion, diet or politics, using a "you" language rather than the preferred "I" language, step back and think for a minute.   People who do this most likely  were, at one time, very well acquainted with bullying in some degree or another.  Either they were bullied as a child or they were the bullyer.  Recognize it for what it is and move on.  I haven't quite mastered this one but I am working on it.

     8)  A great knife is better than Taco Bell.


     9)  Make every effort to learn the native language.


   10)  A sense of humor never hurts.

   11)  Retaining child-like wonder is not the same thing as being childish.

   12)  You will lose weight if you move your body more.   You can still eat cake from time to time but move.


   13)  Be kinder than you need to be.   If someone is being rude to you, in English, Spanish or any other language, don't forget that they are as human as you are and they may be having the worst possible day any one could have.   


   14)  If you want to write a blog, fine.   But if you do, and your kitchen is in another building from your workspace and you put a pot of rice on the burner, make sure you set a reminder in the room in which you are working.   Otherwise, do not expect your nice amber colored glass Vision Corningware pots to look like new again.  Ever.


Now I need to go start that pot of rice over again.

Characters..................make me smile

Characters.   They are like chocolate ripple in a world of vanilla.   How boring it would be without the occasional freak, weirdo, crazy to enliven your life.   Obviously there will be no pictures in this blog.   Well, maybe one.   But it is someone I know and I'm pretty sure she won't mind being called a weirdo.

Several months ago I discovered the Hipermart in Loja.   It is a huge grocery on the ground floor with the second floor selling a lot of rather nice household goods including washers, dryers, refrigerators and stoves as well as bath towels, clothes and toys.   On the third floor is a video arcade and a movie theater in spanish and they show current shows.   I was walking an aisle looking at available products in the grocery section when I heard a couple speaking english.   I stopped and introduced myself and discovered that the guy was from Germany and his wife was from Russia but they had moved to Ecuador via Australia.   We had a nice pleasant conversation for about 10 minutes when I noticed the conversation was taking a right turn.   Soon I was wishing I had a cart full of frozen food to use as an excuse to leave as they started talking about a tenth planet called Nibiru with an orbit of moons which does an orbit around the sun once every million years.   It has such an elliptical orbit that it will soon, within one year, collide with the earth with one of its moons and create a polar shift on the earth.   I didn't finish college but I don't think it takes a physics major to figure out that when that planet, which by the way, is four times the size of earth, is on the farthest point of its extremely elliptical orbit, it will no longer be attached to the Sun's gravity and will spin out to outer space.   The person who is predicting this had the information inserted in her brain by a group called the Zetas from a planet in another galaxy and her name is Nancy Leider.   She's in wikipedia so it's okay to use her correct name.  She originally predicted all of this in 2003 and killed her three german shepherds by drowning them so they would not suffer.   This couple is sincere in their beliefs of these events and are waiting.   And waiting.   And waiting.

About two weeks after this interesting encounter I was walking with both of my dogs into the town center when I ran into this same guy's wife who was talking to a very pleasant looking blonde lady.  After introductions were made, blonde lady had a slight look of concern and told the two of us to pardon her for a moment.   She knelt down as close to eye level as she could get to Amber, my papillon, and whispered something to her.   Very little surprises me anymore so I observed with a little amusement.   When she stood, she announced that Amber was going to be okay.  An interesting statement to be sure, I asked what she meant.   She told me she could tell there was a spirit in Amber that needed to be cast out and she had taken care of it.   I HAVE BEEN ALLOWING A DOG WITH AN EVIL SPIRIT TO SLEEP IN MY BED!!!!  I am SO glad I happen to run into blonde lady.   My mind is at ease now.

Chemtrail people.   This is another conspiracy theory in which a lot of people believe.   They believe that "they" (haven't figured out who "they" are but I'm reasonably certain "they" are the bad guy) are ordering planes to fly around in the sky and squirt out poison gases to "get rid of people".   Now, "they" are somewhere on this planet as well.   How do "they" keep from being overwhelmed by these gases?  I think I have the answer.   Magic mushrooms.  I've heard that's the answer for a lot of things.

Do you really want to hear about the rapture people?  I didn't think so.  Redundant.

No discussion of the crazies in Vilcabamba would be complete without talking about Arturo.   I really don't know what is wrong with Arturo other than he is probably the only bonifide mentally ill in town.   The little guy walks from Malacotos to Vilcabamba and back every day at approximately 10 miles each way barefoot.  He lives on hand outs.   If you give him money he follows you to get more.   He has a memory for the people that are a particularly easy touch.   I nearly had to get out my credit card once to get him to leave me alone.   I probably shouldn't even bring him up since he is truly a part of the mentally ill and not really just eccentric but he is so darn good at it!  No one understands a word he says but he always understands what someone is saying to him.   It could be the gestures that go with it.  

And then there are the foodies.   I have been told to quit eating meat so I won't get bitten by mosquitoes.   A vegetarian I have met down here assures me it isn't true.   She gets bitten all the time.  I've been told not to eat fruit and I'll feel a lot better. I feel great already. I'm not sure I could stand feeling even better, thank you very much!   Ask my kids what my eating habits were before moving down here and they will tell you about all the fast food and colas.  The juice bar makes some kind of green juice and I just can't quite bring myself around to trying it.   A few days after I tell this to my neighbor, zong!!!   She shows up at my door with some kind of green juice that she thought I might like.  Everybody is enthused about new ways to eat things so I can't really be too upset about it.   I just never, ever had anyone show up at my door in Texas with a glass of green juice and tell me to try it because I might like it.  

We have conferences here about raw food, conscious convergence, and parallel universes.   I have a feeling if I'm still in Vilcabamba in a year, I'll probably be one of them.   It's never dull around here.

I leave you with one of the biggest freaks I know:

I took the picture just for you.  

Bugs

Bugs..................................make me smile.

Oh, who am I trying to kid?  Anyone who knows me knows that's just not the truth. Anyone who has followed my move very much at all knows I have an inside out and outside in bathroom that is very bug friendly.  Every single day before I shower, I remove and shake out the throw rugs, sweep and mop the floors and light a citronella candle at least 15 minutes before exposing a huge mass of raw naked skin to whatever lurks in the shadows and shower curtain.   It's a lot of work but I'm retired.   I have time.

Early this morning, around 5 a.m., I was confronted with "mas grande rojo" ants both in and out of the toilet, trailing on the floor and into the shower.   I'm past the point of screaming and have taken on a Rambo attitude.   I pulled everything out, including rugs, toilet paper, candles, toiletries (I am a girl), and soap, ran to get the water house and sprayed the hell out of that bathroom.   Everything drowned.   And I mean everything.   I later found out the groundskeeper had swept an ant hill over the balcony of the common area right above my bathroom the night before.   I am not happy but at least it was temporary.

Whenever you live in a place with such ease of agriculture and amazingly beautiful natural fauna, you can expect bugs.   Yin and yang so to speak.   I read just a day or so ago that Einstein said without bees, the earth in its present form would last at most, four years.   Without even mentioning honey and pollen, think of a world without beans, tomatoes, onions, and carrots as well as hundreds of other vegetables, oilseeds and fruits that are dependent on bees for pollination.   Even livestock depend on bee pollination of forage plants like clover.   There is no human activity known that could replace the work of bees but it is largely taken for granted.  Without them fruits and vegetables are misshapen, tasteless and yield fewer seeds.

With this in mind, today, as I walked into town with Amber in tow, we were suddenly swarmed by bees.   Just yesterday I am reading about the benefits of bees and I get attacked today.   It had to be a test.  I first noticed Amber reacting frantically and I then started to see the small brown and yellow insects covering her fur.   I stopped walking and started swatting them off her as hard as I could.   Of course, we must have been standing there right in the path because it was getting worse!!  Some boys walked by and wanted to help but  then they pointed out that we were standing right in the line of fire!! Amber and I ran about a half block when I again stopped to swat at her fur until I saw no more.

We continued to walk until we got to the cyber cafe where I needed to print a few documents I had to sign and email back to someone in Texas.   While standing in the cyber cafe I started getting the strange sensation I was not alone.   I tossed Amber's leash to one of the clerks and yelled loudly, "Uno minuto, por favor!!!" and ran to the bathroom whereupon I whipped off my pants, turned them inside out and shook them hard.   Out flew three woozy bees that I had carried along for six blocks.   The clerk had no clue what was wrong and knocked on the bathroom door, "Senora, esta bien??"   I managed a very weak "Si, esta bien", put my pants back on and stumbled back out where everyone was staring.  My spanish is just too weak to explain what had just happened so I just reclaimed my confused little Amber, paid for my copies and left.   Know this, though, that people in Vilcabamba are very lucky I didn't feel my deadbeat freeloaders when I was in the town square where there was not a bathroom close by.  Very lucky indeed.

It could be worse.   As I was writing this blog, my History facebook page posted a story about how fossils have been found from fifty million years ago of giant ants the size of hummingbirds in both Germany and Wyoming which were known to have tropical climates during that time.  Hmmmm.   I live in a tropical climate.  Anyone want to help build me a moat?

Beautiful orange butterfly taken by a friend of mine in the hills overlooking Vilcabamba:

His name is Leroy Brown.  Big Bad Leroy Brown.

This happened when I first moved into my apartment I'm in now.   I wasn't happy then either.  But we siliconed the living hell out of the kitchen.   All is well now.

Some bugs, like this caterpillar, are just plain beautiful.

Local public transportation

Local public transportation in my area............makes me smile.

One of the things that stressed me out the most about the life I had in the US was traffic and driving.   I had to do a lot of it due to the nature of my business as so many items I needed were not available online but directly at the courthouse.   I would have to go 30 miles south to the Federal Archives, 30 miles east to Dallas and sometimes 30 miles north to McKinney.   All in a days work.   I only drove Hondas so mechanical breakdown was a rarity.   My last car had 247,000 miles on it when my brother bought it from me in December.   I suspect it will have to be shot between the headlamps before it dies.

In Ecuador, I don't have to worry about driving.   It is possible to go almost anywhere in the country on the bus or in a taxi.   It doesn't pay to drive anyway since it can be extremely hazardous due to the multiple mountain passes, winding roads and Ecuadorian law which provides for free room and board for both drivers if they cannot come to an agreement on fault in the event of an accident.   (Paul and Susanna, I'm looking a you.)  Taxis and buses are very cheap here.  From the town in which I live, I can go to Loja which is 41 kilometers (24 miles) away via bus for $1.30 or I can spend $1.50 to take the communal taxis driven by the kamikaze drivers that take you from the taxi station in Vilcabamba to the communal stopping point in Loja.   If you want a driver who actually wants to live and get you there safely and will pick you up at an appointed spot and take you to Loja at another appointed spot, your fee is $15 each way.  The taxi to the airport, which is around 50 miles away is $30 each way but it can be beaten if you take a $5 taxi to Loja and then the bus (or deathmobile) back to Vilcabamba at aforementioned prices.

It is a little over an hour for the bus and around 45 minutes on the communal unless you have a particularly eager Evil Knieval wannabe which would be around 35 minutes.   About a week ago I had a driver like this.   I have no idea why every time I let out a little "fear-squeal" when the driver passes on a curve, everyone looks at me.   This is normal reaction when you feel you are watching your impending doom.   I do dread when I don't feel real fear as I'm pretty sure I'll have ice water running through my veins instead of blood.  They may be used to it by now.   I am told that these drivers know these roads like the backs of their collective hands.   I suspect they have ex-ray vision as well to see or pretend to see vehicles rounding those corners.  On the particular ride that really scared me a week ago, it was impossible to read my kindle to pass the time.   I had to use two hands to hang on.  When we arrived in Vilcabamba, I told this driver in my best spanglish how much he scared me and I wanted his picture so I could post it on my blog.   He got a good laugh over it.   Or maybe he was laughing at my spanish.

I do try and take the bus as much as possible.   I ALWAYS take it from Vilcabamba to Loja.   I usually have only a purse and an empty backpack to lug but if I do much shopping it is deathmobile back.   When I'm in Loja, it is anywhere in the city for a dollar.   That's right.  One hundred centavos.   1/100th of a Benjamin.   It is truly a bargain.   The only problem is you miss what I call the "passing parade" which is all the street vendors and the yummy street foods and the little shops along the way but that is another blog entirely.

This is Vicente.   He doesn't speak a lot of English.   I don't speak  a lot of Spanish.   He's my favorite.   You really have to ask??

This is the deathmobile.

This is the deathmobile driver who would make a lot more money driving for NASCAR than in a cab in Southern Ecuador.

Yes, this silly gringo actually thought he could do this.   He is finally taking the rational step and calling a taxi.

All taxis in Vilcabamba are pickups and cost $1.00 anywhere in town.  This makes the aforementioned silly gringo even sillier.   However it was fun watching him try since it was right across from the bar.

Smiles..........make me smile.

There are so many things to write about as someone who has just moved to a beautiful third world country.   The official language is Spanish.   The most common language is a smile.

I struggle so much to be understood.   I know what a lot of things are called and "a lot" is subjective.   Being patient has never been a really good virtue of mine and when they smile at me, I always slow down the arm flinging and gestures as well as the facial expressions.   It is disarming.   A flood of good will breaks loose and I smile back.

Today, while waiting on the bus to Loja, I decided to do a calculated human experiment.   I noticed a little older Ecuadorian lady walking rather slowly and stooped who didn't seem to know where the ticket office was.  I said "boletas" and pointed to the office.  Then I smiled as big as I knew how.   She stopped moving and returned the smile.   Maybe it was a surprise to her but every time she looked my way I would give her a huge toothy grin and it would be returned.

She was on my bus and seated several rows behind me.   After a short time, I was distracted by an adorable 3 year old in front of me who was getting quite a kick out of my goofy faces I was giving him.   Needless to say, goofy faces are the same in every language as well.   After about 10 kilometers, the bus stopped and I could tell a lot of people were standing to get off.   I felt a hand on my shoulder and as I turned around to see who it was, I saw it was the same little woman.  She wanted to squeeze my hand.   As she was squeezing, I felt as if she had reached inside me and was squeezing my heart.   And it was at that moment I realized I had made her day with my calculated little experiment.  I could barely hold in the tears as I also realized she had returned the favor and made mine as well.  It was a fair trade.

I am trying hard to improve my spanish and have signed on with a tutor for a couple of hours a week.  Until and after I become much more proficient, I will always rely on smiling.   It really is a common language with all people whether they know your words or not.

Keep smiling like Maria, Otavalo merchant:

Keep smiling like Raquel, Vilcabamba restaurant owner:

Keep smiling like Ramon, genuine cookie monster:

The worse thing that could happen is someone just might wonder what you are up to: